Audition

Note: ages listed are approximate and represent how the characters read onstage, not necessarily the ages of the performers. Please note, where applicable, any requirements for on-stage intimacy or physicality.

Jean Shepherd/Narrator: Male, plays late 40’s-early 60’s

A charismatic storyteller who has the ability to draw and audience into his magical spell. A good-natured curmudgeon with a deadpan sense os humor. When Jean is observing Ralphie, he feels and expresses everything just as Ralphie would.

THE PARKERS

Ralphie: Boy, 9 going on 10

Cute and winsome, but not precious. Bright but not precocious. A regular kid you wouldn’t mind having as a next-door neighbor. He’s a bit mischievous and rascally but with a twinkle in his eye.

Mother: Female, 30’s-40’s

More in charge of the family than the Old Man is, but she would never let him know it. She is warm and affable .. at times a bit daffy… but not a pushover. She is the secret engine that keeps the family running, keeping the household together with an impressive balancing act.

Old Man: Male, 30’s – 40’s

A guy with a good heart, though it is buried beneath a sometimes gruff (and rough) exterior. He’s a devoted husband and father who loves his family but doesn’t overtly show it. He usually expects the worst but is capable of excitement if the situation warrants (though it usually doesn’t). In his moments of fantasy, he is transformed from his usual grumbling blue-collar self to t true song and dance man.

Randy: Boy, 7-8

Ralphie’s younger brother. Cute, cuddly, and whiny. Admires Ralphie but won’t admit it. He’s at the stage of childhood wherein he seems opposed to everything, but he’s still lovable – not a brat.

THE KIDS– will tap, looking for those with experience or those willing to learn!

Schwartz: a classmate

Flick: a classmate

Esther Jane: a classmate

Mary Beth: a classmate

Scut Farkus: 14-15

The textbook example of a schoolyard bully, except this truant doesn’t go to school. He is loud, obnoxious, and intimidating. Older than Ralphie by a year or two, he wears a perpetual scowl beneath his trademark coonskin cap. He always appears at the most inopportune times to scare and harass his innocent victims.

Grover Dill: 9-12

Always at Farkus’ side is his toady, Dill. Much younger and decidedly smaller than Farkus, Dill delights in being tethered to his “hero.” He punctuates the bully’s threats and warnings with a series of rapid-fire belly-laughs, thus making the two of them the scourge of the neighborhood. But when the two are finally challenged and bested, they turn out to be the biggest cowards of all.

Children’s Ensemble: Boys and girls ages 8-15

ADULTS

Miss Shields: Female, mid 30’s to early 60’s

The local elementary school teacher. A seemingly stereotypical 1940’s educator – prim and proper. Stern when necessary, though warm – and even humorous – when when the situation merits it. In Ralphie’s fantasy, she become dynamic, show-stopping, brassy belter and tapper – a force to be reckoned with.

Santa: 30-60

The Santa Claus at Higbee’s Department Store is decidedly unlike the typical “Jolly Old Elf” of legend and lore. Ill-tempered and slightly inebriated, he is unhappy with his job. He dismisses each child as quickly as possible in an attempt to put an end to the day and, perhaps, head for the nearest “watering hole.”

Other Ensemble: 16 +

Elves, Townspeople, Delivery men, Villain, Bartender, Customers, Parents, Bank robbers, Escaped prisoner, Can-Can girls, Nurse, Waiter, Policeman, Fireman, Doctor

All roles double cast.